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Dear Joe

17 junio, 2023


Por Pablo Vierci

Dear Joe,

We want to ask you for an audience, so you can receive us at the White House, in the Oval Salon, just as you did with President Luis Lacalle Pou, but with our two principal candidates progresistas for the elections in Uruguay in 2024.

For us it will be very important to have this audience, with photos, selfies and television.

First of all, Lacalle Pou represents a coalition, and we are only ONE party.

One of our candidates is The Queen, Carolina Cosse, very similar as you can see in the British serie The Crown.  She goes around the world all time, looking for solutions to all the universal problems, both materials and inmaterials. She just came from Bruselas, but it is very diferent to be in Europe, or Asia, or Africa, or Latinamerica, than to have a selfie with you at de Salon Oval of de White House. You are de Number One of the world and our Queen knows it!

The other candidate is our “Gaucho”, Intendente de Canelones. Yamandú Orsi. If you don’t know him, I am sending you by Whatsapp an excellent imitation he did about his mentor, our ex president Pepe Mujica. If you don’t know Pepe, you can met him at Kusturika’s film “El Pepe, una vida suprema”. In the film, Pepe explains when he robed banks in uruguayan democracy, in the 60s and in the first two years of the 70s with a Colt 45 of United States, just as the mafia in the Martin Scorsese’s films. You will adore him, he is very interesting and exciting.

I know that you are fan of the The Three Stooges (Los Tres Chiflados in Spanish). In the comittee we can carry one of our liders, chief of a sindicate, Chifle Molina. He es amazingly similar with Curly. We think that you will spent a very funny evening with him, remembering those great artists, Moe, Larry and Curly, from the time you were a child.

We know that in the visit of President Lacalle Pou, you thanks and congratulate him a lot for his postura with Venezuela and Ucrania. I am afraid that we can’t touch those issues with you because the majority of us (MPP and PCU) has a different view of democracy, that your country invented in 1789. We “tomamos otro bondi”, a new way of democracy, that we call Diferent Democray (DD). We defend the DD of Cuba, Venezuela and Nicaragua, because we think that it is no necessary to be all the same, with free elections, liberty of press, without political prisioners, with free speech, separation of powers, republic, or respect for the Human Rights.

We believe on the Moral Superiority of those who think on behalf of the People, with mayúscula. We believe more on the Misery Compartida (salvo the dirigents, that are “more equal” than the others)  that in the meritocracy, or that fake news of the “igualdad de oportunidades”, with the “self made man” that you like so much.  But these are only matices, because in the principal, getting fun, taking selfies, having a nice chat, we think that we are just like you, “you and me”, “Joe and Fernando”.

At the same time, we can’t speek about Ucrania. I ask you to manage this issue with confidenciality. One of the principal foots de our party, is the Partido Comunista. Yes, I know what you are thinking: I just told you that we were only ONE party. But that is our magic: we are ONE in the multiplicity and the multiplicity in ONE. If you don’t understand, Yamandú, Carolina or Chifle can explain it personaly at the audience in the White House.

As I was saying, our Partido Comunista is a little bit old, it is from the Sovietic Line, and they are very friend of all the remanents soviéticos al around the world, begining with the person who was the director of the KGB at that time… Vladimir Putin! For that reason,  we have the hands atadas and can’t support Ucrania. But in all the other issues, we can have very nice agreements.

I am sure that we can give you a few good ideas of management that we are doing in our country. As a example, but I will mantein the suspense, giving you only the name, we can explain you, at the meeting, how is our last invention: the “canasta menstrual”.

In the meantime, we want to invite you to our country, to our two departments, Canelones and Montevideo. We can do a very nice tour among all the “comités de base” that we have, where you can speak with our militants about everything, begining with the global economy and reaching at the cangrejos inmortality.

Also we can invite you to our “Broadway”, a spectaculo of murga, that you will adore. You don’t need to speak Spanish, because they don’t sing in Spanish nor in English: it’s another language.

We will also invite you to have lunch in one of our great restorans McDonald’s, in our two departments. If its not much expensive with your body guards, we can pay the expenses fifty/fifty.

I think these is all. We look forward to hear from you for saving the date, both for the Queen, our Gaucho and our “Curly”, because their agendas are generally full.

Best regards,

Fernando Pereira